Why Do I Love You
by Zammie4eva
Summary: Songfic! AU GaaNaru. A look into Gaara and Naruto's dysfunctional relationship, and how they stay together. kinda dark and angsty.


**Why do I love You?**

**AU. M rated GaaNaru. Songfic in Gaara's POV. Gaara ponders on his dysfunctional relationship with Naruto, and how they stay together. He hates him, but he loves him. Why?**

**OH MY GOD! I urge you to listen to this song while reading this, it is like the BEST song in the world! It's called "(I Hate) Everything About You" by Three Days Grace.**

**Find it, listen to it, and read this! Love this song to pieces.**

**I do not own anything, though I totally wish I did I LOVE Three Days Grace!**

_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I haven't missed you yet_

I wiped the blood from my nose in front of the bathroom mirror.

Yet another fight. Another argument. And again it turned violent, like it usually did with us.

For some reason Naruto and I couldn't go through one day without shouting at one another, or punching each other.

It wasn't my fault he was a complete imbecile, honestly I don't know why I put up with him.

That's actually a good question, unfortunately it lacks a satisfactory answer.

The only answer Naruto, others and even myself have been able to give me is a simple one. I love him.

But why?

He drives me totally insane, irritates me to no end, I can't stand to be around him for more than five seconds, but without him I feel alone.

Usually I'm not quick to anger, but Naruto knows exactly what to do to piss me off completely, and he does this often.

I don't know where he is now, and I don't particularly care. He can go to hell for all I care.

I remembered him storming out of the dorm in fury, shouting that he hated me and wasn't coming back ever.

I said I hated him right back and didn't care if he died. So he left.

That was four hours ago. He was probably over in Kiba's dorm where he usually went when I threw him out, or he left of his own accord.

If he wasn't with Kiba, then he was with Shikamaru or Sasuke, and if not there, then outside.

I looked out the window, it was snowing outside, and Naruto hadn't taken his scarf when he left he had been so angry.

I began to worry.

"Oh why should I care? He can freeze, serves him right," I grumbled pulling on a T-shirt.

It was very late, almost three in the morning, I wondered where Naruto was, feeling irritated that I even cared in the first place.

Our fight had started, as they all did, because of something unimportant that we blew out of proportion.

We always did this. If Naruto's things wound up on my side of the dorm and I asked him to move it and he refused, it usually ended up he was locked out and covered in bruises, and myself bleeding from somewhere.

If my music was too loud for Naruto to study and I refused to turn it down, it usually ended up that I had a few broken bones and in hospital, and Naruto and I not speaking for three days.

If one of Naruto's friends left their mess on my bed and Naruto refused to do anything about it, it usually ended up Naruto was in the hospital with a concussion, and my torso covered in bandages.

If – oh, well you get the point.

And always, _always, _after we separated for a while after our fights, I'd always sit by myself, think how stupid it was that we always argued all the time, how much I hated him, but how I loved him as well.

But I never missed him.

Not once. I never brought myself to miss him, to miss his irritating presence.

_Every roommate kept awake_

_By every sigh and scream we make_

_All the feelings that I get_

_But I still don't miss you yet_

"Aaah, G-Gaara!" Naruto panted against me.

I gave a shuddering exhale and pushed into him hard. He cried out and clung to me, his nails digging into my back.

"Naruto I swear to God you'll be the death of me," I gasped as his tongue did things with my nipples I never thought possible.

I could feel his grin against my chest. "Most likely. You should get rid of me,"

"I've tried, but you're like a cancer, you stay in the back of my mind and come back, whether I want you to or not," I grunted.

He laughed shortly but his laugh became a cry as he came, myself following shortly after.

He laughed breathlessly beneath me, I loved that breathless laugh he gave after every time we made love. It was an amazing sound coming from Naruto.

"Would you two give it a rest? Seriously there are people who wish to sleep instead of being scarred for life ya know!" Kiba shouted from down the hall.

Naruto gave his breathless laugh again. "You wanna join in Kiba? Make one hell of a hot threesome!" he called.

"No thank you! Now the pair of you shut up and quit it! You're giving me mental images!" Kiba shouted back.

It was my turn to laugh.

Naruto curled into my chest and I pulled the covers around us, it was five thirty in the morning and Naruto had just got back when I pounced.

The one good thing about our arguments, was that when one of us finally came home, we would always have mind-blowing sex.

I've no idea why, but that doesn't mean I was complaining.

"I hate you," Naruto whispered against my skin, his breath making goose bumps rise on my flesh.

I smiled. "I know."

"I love you," Naruto then said.

"I know. Me too." I bent my head to rest against his and we fell asleep.

I still didn't miss him. If he were to walk out my door and never come back like so many times he'd threatened, I wouldn't care.

I would never miss him.

_Only when I stop to think about it_

"You're beautiful." I said.

Naruto turned from his laptop screen to smile up at me where I stood towering over his bed.

It was the morning after our argument and make-up session, and I found myself thinking about why I loved Naruto more and more.

This made me feel odd.

I felt happy. Light. Like a great weight was being lifted from my shoulders. And so I felt loving that morning.

I kissed his upside-down face and settled in by his feet, he used me as a foot stool and I scowled, causing him to giggle.

"Gaara?" Naruto asked.

"Hm?" I replied without taking my eyes of my text book.

"When you think of me, what do you think about?" Naruto asked me.

"Why?" I questioned looking up from my homework.

"I'm writing my paper for literature class, and I need to know. So just answer the question already," Naruto said impatiently.

He always hated it when I pressed for details instead of answering straight away as he did.

So I thought about his question. Really thought about it.

"Love." I said. "And happiness. Lots of bright things, since you have that personality,"

"Not when I'm angry," Naruto pointed out, "What do you think of then?"

I pondered. "Fire. Like a dragon. And ice,"

"Ice? What's ice for?" he asked.

"My heart. The way it feels when we fight, mostly for no reason. Why do we do that Naruto?" I turned to look at him and realised, I love him terribly.

His smiled warmly.

"Oh Gaara, it's just how we are." He replied.

I suppose that was all the answer I would get from him.

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you?_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you?_

"Why are you always like this?" I demanded folding my arms over my chest.

He glared at me. "I am the way I am because I am, deal with it! I can go where I like, when I like and I can come and go as I please!" he snapped.

"Well if you want to do that, I suggest you find another place to come and go to, because I will not have you here any longer!" I shouted.

"Like I need you to come home to! I don't need this in my life, I can easily get up and leave!" Naruto yelled.

"Then do it! I'd like to see you walk out that door right now and never, ever come back through it!" I shouted back.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

He slammed the door and I stood there, fists clenched with fury, thinking.

It hadn't been my fault. It was never my fault. It was always his fault.

He had come back late, I had asked him what kept him, he refused to tell me, telling me it was none of my business.

I said it was my business since I was his partner and entitled to know where he'd been.

He told me to shut up, I accused him of meeting someone else behind my back.

It escalated from there.

"I hate you!" I screamed punching a hold in the wall, venting my angry on inanimate objects in our dorm by throwing them across the room.

I hated everything about him.

I hated his laugh, his stupid grin, his care-free attitude, his immaturity, his temper, his snarl, his damn left-hook, his ridiculously too bright orange clothes, his ramen cups lying around everywhere.

I hated his crystal necklace that kept scratching me, the way he laughed when he made love, the way he'd smile at me and call my name in the hallway, the way he'd wink at me in class and mouth 'soon'.

The way he walked when he was excited, his face when he defended me from insults, the way he'd cry in my arms and cling to me like I was the only thing in the world.

I hated it.

"I love you." I said to myself.

I loved it.

I loved him.

I loved everything about him.

_Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I haven't missed you yet_

Naruto's crystal shone against his bare chest as he huddled closer to me for warmth.

I obliged him and rubbed my hand gently up and down his back, warming him.

I kissed his hair and thought about the actions which had brought us, once again, to the bed.

_~Flash back~_

"_I thought I told you not to come back," I said icily as Naruto burst through the door to our dorm._

"_And I thought I said I could come and go as I please," he retorted. "I see you've had some anger issues in here," he added looking about the place._

_I snarled. "All thanks to you I might point out. If not for you, I wouldn't be like this all the time." I snapped._

_He glared. "You're the one accusing me of cheating."_

"_What else could you have been doing that you won't tell me?" I demanded._

"_It's none of your business what I choose to tell you and what I choose not to! Trust me ,if I was cheating, I would have left you long ago," Naruto shouted._

"_Well then why won't you? You always leave and say you're not coming back, and yet you come back every single time! I'm sick of it! Why? Why are you always like this?" I screamed._

"_Why are _you _always like this?" Naruto screamed back._

_I had had enough, I threw a punch getting him right in the jaw, he recovered quickly and hit me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me._

_We struggled, then fell back onto the bed, Naruto pinning me down in an attempt to stop me struggling._

_So I stopped struggling._

"_I hate you," I spat._

"_I know." Naruto replied._

_I closed my eyes. "I love you."_

"_I know. Me too," he kissed me passionately, unpinning me so I could respond._

_And respond I did._

_~end flashback~_

I sighed. It was always, always like this.

_Only when I stop to think about it_

"Scootch over a bit, my legs are cramped." Naruto said.

I obeyed and moved, shifting my body so I was lying next to him, reading my book while he worked on his paper.

"When you think of me, what do you think of?" I asked quietly.

"Huh?" Naruto turned to me.

"I was just curious. After all I gave my answer, and I'd like to know yours," I said.

"Oh. Well…" Naruto looked thoughtful.

"Mostly strength. You know, like a solid rock you can never break," he said finally.

"You break me all the time," I pointed out.

He smiled softly. "I know. But I don't mean it, I love you."

"I know. I love you too. What else do you think of?"

"A tiger, when you're angry. Also, peace. You that tranquil feeling? I feel that when I think of you, you're like water reeds, gentle but firm, always bending with the current but never bowing complete over."

I looked up at him. "I didn't know you could talk like that." I said slightly surprised at how mature he'd sounded.

He grinned. "Neither did I!"

I rolled my eyes. "Idiot," I muttered returning to me book.

"You love me," he said smugly.

"I hate you." I replied.

He stuck out his tongue at me. "Love you too." He said.

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you?_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you?_

**This isn't the whole song but yeah, I thought I'd keep it short. And before you tell me, yes I KNOW I can't post lyrics on here, but I've been doing it for years and nothing's happened so mind your own business if you please. Any OTHER comments are welcome. Thank you, forever your servant of yaoi smex**

**Zammie4eva **

**Ja mata ne! ^^**


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